Hips don’t lie, neither do scales!!

fatRecently everyone around – my friends, neighbors, relatives and colleagues are complementing me on how I have slimmed down.

But my weighing scales don’t agree, it doesn’t show even a gram less than what it showed few months ago. Liar !!

What if I don’t exercise, what if I live to eat, what if my hips look as it looked few months ago, in the mirror. To hell with the scales and the mirrors, if people say I have slimmed down, I should have!liar

My reactions to this complement of  “Oh you have slimmed down so much!” changed from denial “Really? I don’t think so.” to “Really, do you think so ?” to a smile to “I have na!” to self pity “poor me! the work pressure at office, house work and a running toddler, you see you don’t have to control food or exercise to slim down”

So, I was floating in the clouds, until last evening, D, a third standard student, whom I help with his Hindi lessons, grounded me. I was giving him test – word meanings. The word ‘Sadhu‘ came. He couldn’t remember the meaning. The meaning in the context of the chapter was ‘a good person ‘.shocked

So to help him remember the meaning I gave him a clue, “D, someone like me”

He gave a big smile and yelled ” yeah! got it aunteeeee! Sadhu means fat person”

Someone in the other room burst into laughter.

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My Hair story

When I was a kid my hair was something my parents were proud of. I had thick long black lustrous hair.

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And I was very thin, so thin that I was not called pencil but pencil lead ! Well wishers told my Amma that all I ate was taken by my hair and that’s why I was thin and my hair was thick. Amma was worried. After all, any parent would want their child to be healthy and healthy means chubby and so in an attempt to make me healthy, she cut my hair to shoulder length. And she waited for the magic. But alas! neither I became chubby nor my hair grew. It took one full year for my hair to grow back and touch my bums, as it used to. And I was pencil lead for another 4-5 yrs. Since then, cutting hair, even the split ends, is a sin for my Amma.

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I did not care if my hair was short or long. Hair care was my Amma’s and dee’s duty. Till 12th std, it was either my Amma or dee who made my hair.  In school we had to wear it in pigtails (plaited and folded ) with a red ribbon. All that plaiting and pigtailing of wet hair for hours together, for 12 long yrs left my hair into a state that it was neither straight, nor wavy nor curly. But did I care ? No !!!

As I reached my teens, my hair size started reducing and waist size started increasing. By the time I was in college I had put on weight and my hair fall miseries had started. The hair in my comb/towel/floor seemed to be much more than what was left on the head. But did I care ? No !!!

ImageI would sleep leaving my hair open and when I woke up it would a ghosla. My dee patiently combed my hair and tied it in a bun on the top of my head. But sometimes sleepy me wouldn’t allow her to do that.

From appreciating my hair and being anxious about my thin frame, well wishers  started sympathizing for my leftover hair and giving suggestions to reduce weight !

I started noticing my hair and then I started hating my hair. I tried all the home remedies and Imagethe shampoo and oils available in market, but nothing worked. My hair fall saga continued.

And then I got the idea of straightening my hair. My shame in the name of hair would at least look presentable if straightened. I checked at a saloon, for permanent hair straightening. That was 4 yrs ago. They said it would cost me 5k and then if I maintain ( who me ?) it properly using special shampoo + conditioner, I would have straight hair for upto 6 months. What ? 6 months! But I asked for permanent straightening!. They laughed.  There is no such thing as permanent hair straightening. Whichever method you use, you’ll have to do touch ups at least twice a year. That was ridiculous, spend 5 k on hair that too twice in a year! I said good bye to them.

I thought of alternate (read cheap) methods of straightening hair.

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1. Using Iron box – Nope. I can’t burn my hair like I burn my clothes. ( I burnt a hole in my FIL’s brand new shirt  just a week after I became his DIL! 😦 )

2. Tie rulers to my hair. No! I would come to know the measurement of my hair, which would be highly demotivating.

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3. Watch a horror movie and get my hair to stand up? Good idea. I sat to watch Raaz 2, all alone in a dark room in the midnight.  My hair became straight all right but not by standing up. The movie made me pull my hair out.  I don’t want to do it again.

Image4. A little electric shock treatment? No way! I can’t risk being normal. I am happy being a little mental, the way I am 🙂

Image5. Use balloons rubbed with cloth for the hair raising experience ? But the balloon of straight hair expectations bursts with the balloons 😦

6. Wash my hair with Ujala stiff and shine ?

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Hmmm.. But would I be able to comb my hair later or tie it up when its too hot and sweaty ? OMG! sweat and starch.. I hate the sticky combination.

7. I can decorate my hair with metallic beads and wear a magnet on my belt. Wow great!! But, what if all staplers, paperclips,scissors get attracted to my belt or if I get attached to the door of my cab?

8. Put my hair in a tube ? My hair turned out to be like kutte ki dhum, khabi seedi hi nahi hoti.

Babs pulling my hair

Finally I gave up the plan and left my hair to its fate.

But now my son is bent upon straightening my hair. He pulls,chews, then pulls again whenever he is able to lay his hand on my hair.

One good thing happened to my hair this month; after years of pondering ‘to do or not to do’, I finally cut my hair shoulder length, a layer cut and voila it looks better.

Image Courtesy : All the images except the last one are taken from Google images.

This post has been submitted for  The Straight Hair Experiment Contest sponsored by Sunsilk on Indiblogger.

What kept me from leaving home !!

Once when I was around 10 yrs old and my dee 12 yrs, my Amma was doing the routine combing to remove the head lices / jua (they are now extinct or endangered species I suppose, haven’t seen even one lice for a long long time now) which flourished and nourished on my long thick black lustrous hair I had then (and now I have something black on my head in the name of hair 😦 ).

ImageI hated this (Indian mother’s favourite pastime) sooo much. Just the sight of the comb used to make me a rebel. All my pleas to leave my hair alone fell into deaf ears. Finally I had enough and I decided to leave home for good. I escaped my Amma’s hold, declared my intention to leave home.

My dee, who was bathing, was hearing the commotion outside. She rushed out of the bathroom with water dripping from her hair and body, wetting the frock she wore. She ran behind me and pulled my arms.

“Please don’t leave, please “

“I have to. I can’t stay in this house. Amma doesn’t like me”

“Then I will also come with you. Please wait for 5 minutes.”

“No am going. I can’t stay here for another minute.”

“Don’t go alone. I will come with you. Please wait for 5 minutes. I will join you.”

“If you want to come with me, come now. I can’t stay here for another minute”

“Please wait for 2 minutes at least. I will come with you. Please.. please..”

I thought, may be she was not stupid like me, wanted to pack some clothes. After all she used to scare Ammamma (granny) often by packing her 2 favourite dresses in a polythene bag and declaring that she would leave home and come to us. (Me and Bro were with parents in Hyderabad till I was nearly 9 yrs old and my dee was left with our Ammamma in Kannur )

Konipadi

“Ok.. I will wait for you at the konipadi (steps at the gate as in picture). But why do you want 2 minutes ?”

“I rushed out of the bathroom hearing that you were leaving. I could just pull on my frock in a hurry but did not wear chaddi (underwear). How can I leave home with you without wearing chaddi ?”

She ran towards the bathroom.

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I stood there unable to react. My dee came back running in 2 minutes. I looked at my Amma who was enjoying the whole drama.

My whole anger had vanished but just to teach smiling Amma a lesson, we did not go back home immediately. We both sat at the konipadi till our hunger forced us to return home when Amma called us for tea. We had tea as if nothing had happened.

So what kept me from leaving home that day ? My dee or her Chaddi ?

PS: I wanted to post this on 9th Dec (her birthday). But last two weeks were too hectic at office and awful at home with Babs falling sick.

PPS: Sorry Dee.. I know you would want to burn all my chaddis and leave me chaddiless  for posting your chaddi story.

The Anniversary Rusk

Spandana’s Mug Cake

I wandered into this Blog and saw this recipe . I have never baked a cake. I do not have the equipments to bake in an oven and I am too scared to bake in the pressure cooker. I have this weird feeling that my pressure cooker will burst if I keep it on stove for more than 10 mins. By the way, I also have this weird feeling that my oven will burst if I keep it on for more than 5 mins. I have previously used the oven only to heat the leftover meals.

So this recipe gave me the chance to bake a cake using regular coffee cups, that too in 5 minutes time.. I thought of surprising Raj with this Cake on our fourth Anniversary, yesterday.

But my first baking experience didn’t go well 😦

My mistakes :
1. Filled up to 3/4th of the cup,  when my cup was smaller and I should have filled only 1/2 of the cup. 
2. Baked in the oven for 5 mins exactly, going by the recipe, ignoring Spandana’s advise ” The baking time might differ depending on the microwave, so keep checking for every minute after first two minutes.”
So poor Raj ended up eating over baked cake renamed as ‘chocolate Mug rusk‘ .
As for Baking, I have not given it up yet. I know my mistakes and am hoping to make a perfect mug cake, the next time.

PS : I also gifted him a pair of formal shirt & trousers. Whoever says shopping for woman is nerve wracking, please try shopping for my husband. He took 2 hours to buy just 1 pair of shirt & trousers . By the time Raj’s shopping was over, Babs was so bored that he started pulling my hair and when we walked out of the shop, my hair was a khosla ka ghosla. My new hair style got many admiring glances on our way out of the mall.
 UPDATE : I made the mug cake again on Thursday and it came out perfect!!
Raj absolutely loved it. Thank You Spandana for the recipe.

Smart Birthday !!!

July 16th2012  
My Nokia 3110 Classic, decided to drown in the water, not in chullu bar pani but table bar pani. No, it was not a suicide and noting that
wasn’t aware that the water dispenser kept on the table was leaking, it was neither a murder. It was an unfortunate accident. After being with me through the thick and thin, surviving at least 5 falls a week for 3 yrs and 10 months, it finally said goodbye.  
July 17th2012 
Raj : Lets go and buy a mobile. Anyways you needed a new mobile phone, the phone you had was an antique piece, no one carries such old models now.
Me : No.. not today, now that I have to buy a mobile, I want to buy a smartphone and this month we cant afford it. If only I could get an old phone to adjust with for this one month.
 
Next 2 weeks , a friend was kind enough to loan me an extra mobile set she had. 
 
Aug 2012
 
Raj : Lets go and buy a mobile.
Me  : No.. not this month, we cant afford it. If only I could get an old phone to adjust with for one more  month.
My sister who was in Kerala enjoying a short vacation had come back and she lend me her old mobile set, Nokia 2600 Classic,

which she had given her 7 yr old son to play with. My nephew was kind enough to trade his toy with chocolates, just for his beloved ‘elemma’ (mother’s younger sister ).

Sept 2012

Raj : We have waited long enough. Lets buy a new phone, I have checked the smart phones in the malls, Sony Ericcson Xperia seems to be good and in our budget.
Me : Ya.. but not yet. Lets wait and see if I get an increment this month.
 
Still using the Nokia 2600.
 
Oct 2012
 
Raj : My colleague has bought Nokia Lumia 900. Its good. Lets buy Nokia Lumia 800,  that would be in our budget.
Me : No. Smart phone will be a luxury. I keep dropping phones. This Nokia phone is good and can survive my rough handling. I use phone only to answer calls and rarely to make calls. And yes  as alarm also. I don’t need any extra features in the mobile. Can think of a smartphone next year. May be.
 
29th Oct 2012
 
My Birthday and guess what my Hubby gifts me : Samsung Galaxy S duos.

And my reaction : Oh my God !!. Why did you spent so much money on the phone ? It would make a big hole in our pockets. We could have bought it next year. May be I would have got an increment by then. Why did you…………
Raj : My dear please…….. What’s the use of saving money, if we can’t spent a little on such essential luxuries. ( ya, that’s what he said “essential luxuries” ). 
Me : But I don’t need…
Raj : I know you wanted it . This is NOT a waste of money. This is what we earn money for, to fulfill our small desires.
Me  : Oh ok. ok.. ( by now I was impressed with the phone and giving more attention to it than my poor hubby )..it’s nice, looks good..  Thank you dear…
Raj : But don’t expect any other gift on our 4th Anniversary that comes 12 days after, and “mummy Seena’s” first birthday that comes 27 days after and the 4thanniversary of our first meeting which also happens to be today.
Me : One gift, for 4 occasions ? Oh God! You are such a miser. Mr. Kanjoos!!
Raj : Kanjoos!! but just now u were against spending ………..
( I walk away tapping on my new Samsung Smartphone) 


On another note :
Did you know Google does customized birthday Doodles for those who have Google account ? Well, I didn’t. I was pleasantly surprised on seeing this when I logged in Google on 29th morning.

Ooops!

Tuesday Morning,  7.10 am. I enter the lift with my little one and press the number 2. The lift opens. I get out and walk to the first flat on the left.

Why is the door not open as usual ? Am I early today ?”
I ring the bell and wait. Notice the flat number written on the door, 101. “Buildings have flat numbers 201, 202…etc.. on the 2nd floor na, Why this building has flat number 101 in 2nd floor ? Weird… And why didn’t I notice it before?”
A young gentleman opens the door. “ yes …” .
I stare at him and then at the flat number. “Oh! sorry am in wrong flat.. sorry..
I hurry back to the lift, press 2. Door opens . I walk to the first flat on the left. Flat no. 201.
The door is open. I knock and enter.
Paatti  Amma (granny) : “vaa ma..” ( come dear.. ).
I give my little one to patti..
Paatti  Amma : “kolantha paalu kudichacha ? ” ( little one had milk ?)
Me (in my broken Tamil ) : “Koncham, koncham bottlelil irrikke, koduth paar”       ( little, little remaining in bottle, try giving )
I wave bye to my son. He looks at me, ready to cry if I don’t leave immediately.
I enter the lift. Press G. Lift opens. I rush out and get into the cab.
Uhhhh.. that was embarrassing..