The blame game continues..

Today morning the first news I heard was about the death of the Delhi rape victim. I feel so terrible. But she wanted to live, even after being so brutally tortured and organs removed, even after knowing she would have to live with medical support throughout, she wanted to live, that just says how much will power she had and how much she loved her life, didn’t she deserve to live?

But along with the grief, I am also raged, raged at the attitude of men and women in our society.

Along with the news, the channel was asking views of public on the same.

A young man (around 25 yr old)said “I am deeply moved by the news. I sympathise with the victim. But our girls in Delhi are taking more freedom, that is the reason rape is increasing “.

A grandmother ( above 50 ) said, “ I am afraid for my daughter and grand daughters. Where is this generation going? The rape and molestation is increasing so much because of the movies, internet, mobile phones and lack of social values in the youth, following western culture.”

It is not the first time I heard these comments. These are not just the individuals who have these views. The above mentioned man and woman voice the opinion of a large chunk of our population and to say precisely the opinion of rapist. Yes, you read it right, the opinion of the rapist.


Every time a girl is molested, not just in Delhi, not just in India but any part of the world, people pray for the victim and condemn the rapists publicly, few others are insensitive enough to blame the victim (and what is more horrible is these few others who blame the victim are those who are entrusted the responsibility to voice for the victim).

But even those who do not directly blame the victim and sympathizes with the Victim  and say they feel the pain of the victim, end up giving suggestions to the victim how she could have avoided getting molested than how the molestation should be prevented.

I ask the young man, really? you think rape happens because girls take more freedom? In that case we should be hearing these news

“ a 25 year old man was gangraped by six dented and painted girls in a Disco in Delhi”

“a 6 year old boy was molested by his mother, sister and aunties”

“ a 90 year old  man was sexually harassed by a teenage girl”

You did not mean such ‘extreme ‘ freedom, you meant freedom about dressing and being out in the night etc., Alright, then why I don’t hear this news

“ a 23 year old drunk girl in Bikini was raped in the pub at midnight”

Why do I hear the news of rape of a 23 year old girl with her friend in a bus at 9.00 pm, of  a six year old being raped in her home by her father, brother and uncle, of an 80 year old granny being raped at her home..

And to the grandmother who blames the new generation.

“ because of the movies, internet, mobile phones and lack of social values in the youth, following western culture”

I beg to differ.

As mentioned in my earlier post when I was groped first nearly 20 yrs ago there was no sheela ki jawani, no internet, no you tube, mobile phone was limited to the upper-upper class. And those men did not even eat chowmeins then .

They see chikni chameli, munni or Sheila in an item song and think all the women asks for it, but haven’t they seen the heroines in the movies saying no to it. How does a man see chikni chameli or munni in a 2 yr old girl? At 2 yrs you cannot even distinguish a girl and boy until you take off their dress, which of her exposed assets reminded you of Sheila and told you she wanted it? Well, my husband enjoyed watching munni badnam, he did not go about raping the girl next door, he did not even think of forced sex with his wife ?

And you think they rape and molest because they feel the girl/women asked for it? No. They rape/molest because they feel the girl/women do NOT ask for it. How dare they say NO to you when you want to satisfy the basic huMAN need, your sexual desire, which is much above  roti-kapda-makan?

The more she is covered up, the more they want to tear off her dress, the more she says NO to them, the more they want to molest her, the more she fights back, the more they want to rape her. And then you blame her dress and freedom?

Where is this generation going?”

First of all, rapes/molestation have not increased in this generation, but are increasingly reported. They have moved from the a small column in the last pages to the Headlines in the front page. Because of the internet, TV, mobile phones, more people come to know about it. The girls have started raising their voice and reporting the crime. More importantly, this generation sees rape as a crime rather than a loss of honour which should be hushed.

It is not this generation you should blame. It is your generation who brought up this generation of girls under restrictions, grooming her to remain silent, shaming her when she is tortured, asking her to have modesty, associating the honour of your kandan to her.

It is your generation who bought up your boys like kings, boosting his male ego, not asking him to even lift a finger at home, making mother, sister and wives his slaves, teaching him that he can get away with his wrong doings because of the horn in his pants, his mistakes does not bring shame to the family, teaching him that girls should be thought a lesson, teaching him that no girl has a right to say NO to him.

It is your generation who made sex a taboo, instead of giving right education on sex.

It is you my dear grandmother (mentioned above) who bought up the young man (mentioned above) to say Girls in Delhi get more freedom, so get raped.

And now you blame the generation, the technology and westerners ? How convenient for you !


11 thoughts on “The blame game continues..

  1. I am appalled at the viewpoint of these people. I read a poster on Tv that said “Ban the ashlil books and movies” and I wondering how that is going to help…

    Very pertinent points.

    • Yes Jas, its trully appalling… ban ashlil books, ban jeans, ban pubs, ban mobile phones….as if rapes did not happen before these came into existance. as if men who do not have access to these do not rape, as if women who do not have access to these are never raped/molested.

  2. Seena, i wasn’t an upholder of stricter Islamic laws like perpetration of capital punishment on such atrocious offenders, but now I am … blood boils but tongue tied in India … happy that u are in the Saudi … keep safe … keep writing … if some nasty p*nis need be whacked, we’d need our pens to do the talking ….

    • You are right Miraj, blood boils on hearing such news and comments everyday. The first reaction that comes is to chop off their p***s but on thinking rationally that does not seem to be a solution. More than stricter laws or punishment, what we need is change in mindset.
      Am in Dubai Miraj 🙂

  3. Seena,
    The people who leave those comments are like sheep. They cannot think on their own and do not have a brain. They cannot distinguish between right and wrong and derive their thoughts from negativity. All we can wait for is to wait for such people to die so that one day the world will be rid of them.
    Also, in the meanwhile, we can punch them on the nose.

    • Thank you Divya. But I think that they know the answers themselves, but don’t want to accept them, so as to avoid taking responsibility. Blaming the Victim is the easiest thing to do.

  4. What the freedom and the technology have done is they have given Indian women means and strength to break the silence they were shamed and blamed into.

    Was glad to read anti rape protesers make it clear – ‘My voice is louder than my clothes’.

    And now the BJP minister who wanted skirts banned has been gifted one by the students.

    //Alwar: School girls and women agitators – livid over Alwar BJP MLA Banwari Lal Singhal’s statement that girls should not wear skirts – held demonstrations outside his house and handed him a skirt in protest over the weekend. //

    It gives me hope that more and more of us, and a good part of the media has started questioning these excuses that we provide in support of crimes agaisnt women.

And Thank you for allowing me to walk in your Sandals/Shoes :)

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